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Gift Giving: Keep It Simple
Anna Getty
Friday, November 28, 2008
Although I cancelled all my mail-order catalogues ages ago, they still seem to find their sneaky way back into my mailbox, especially around the holidays. And with a four year-old daughter, the children’s companies always seem to track me down as a potential customer. I try to intercept all the large, commercial brand catalogues full of the more conventional toys, instead favoring the sweet, natural wood, non-toxic or educational toy catalogues, granting them access to my daughter’s pure little eyes.
But every now and again those “other” catalogues make their ways into her little hands. She pours through the pages with glee, focused desire and the hope that when Santa comes, he will bring her the toys that she wants, not those that her mommy (me) wants for her. Looking at my child enthusiastically marking up the pages with crayons, I tell myself I want her to have everything in the world that she could possibly want. I do not want her to feel deprived of anything, but wait…that is not accurate.
I want my child’s needs to be met, I want her to fulfill her potential in her lifetime, reach for the stars and affirm that whatever she sets her mind to she can accomplish. I want her to feel good about herself, to be of service, and, most importantly, to know she is loved and how to give her love. I do not want to feed her growing little ego with the idea that material desires will fulfill her. I don’t want her to one day turn to the outside to make-up for whatever she may feel is lacking on the inside.
I love my child and want to find a balance in giving her toys she wants but also in finding objects that are simple and can spark her creativity, like a basket of shells, glue and glitter, or a stack of colorful fabric she can turn into a princess gown.
This year especially, with the world in financial crisis, it is vital that we look inward and are reminded of the things most meaningful in our lives. If we feel the need to buy the bigger and better version of last year’s American Girl doll out of guilt because this has been a tough year, I suggest we look inside ourselves and come to terms with the way we have been living our lives.
If we are to return to simplicity, wouldn’t an extravagant gift be a day together at the circus or making s’mores over a fire in the cold of the back yard? How about baking together and taking hikes with family or friends? Never mind the fact that most toy companies are using toxic materials, polluting the environment in their fabrication process, and creating so much waste through their packaging materials. We want our children to see that the true value of gift giving is not just in receiving, but in connecting to the essence of giving, giving a piece of our hearts, our vulnerability, our love.
This year my daughter is getting a box of all the old dolls my mom made for me when I was a child, complete with homemade outfits. They may not be the latest of the greatest, but I know they will have meaning to her, as they had meaning to me because my mom made them for me with love. For those of you who do not have time to make dolls or cook with your child, I encourage you to find ways to connect with the true spirit of the holidays and what is meaningful to you…and share that!
Anna Getty is a Women's and Eco-LIfestyle Expert. For more information please visit, www.purestyleliving.com
Posted by Chrystal on 12/02 at 03:52 PM
I agree that the gifts with heart are the ones which will be cherished forever. The ones that are flashy are exciting at first but the excitement is more hype then substance and will fade. However I do generally get pulled into the shopping spirit around the holidays and now I have found a way that I can shop for gifts that are thoughtful and conscientious WHILE giving a percentage of my every sale to my favorite charity…
Posted by yogamomma on 12/04 at 12:39 AM
I did some shopping early, though I mostly tried to buy used items and give them a second useful life. And last week when all of the Black Friday sales were beckoning people to buy more stuff, and I started to get sucked in, I decided I was not going to buy any more gifts. We are going to make ours. And I am involving my daughters (5.5 and 2). Most people on our list are going to receive hand-made wool felt ornaments. My 5 year old will sew buttons on felt circles, while my 2 year old pretends to do the same. Two circles will get whip-stitched together (5 year old can do this) and stuffed with cotton balls saved from vitamin jars (2 year old can do this). Then I finish them up attaching a ribbon to hang them.
The other thing I would really like to do is to take them to work in a soup kitchen or nursing home to give them a tangible way of giving back.
Lastly, my girls are getting some ‘store’ presents. The one I am most excited about is a piggy bank that has 4 compartments for : save, spend, donate & invest. My goal is for them to really understand money. Part of that is a better understanding of the real value of goods and services. I am hoping that eventually much of the “Can we buy that?” will be turned around to be “Do I want to afford that?”.
Posted by viki Psihoyos on 12/04 at 12:01 PM
This is the time to truly offer our children activities that reflect our own values. Gifting them with items that educate and stimulate their imagination is best. Also, with children home for school holidays, what a great time to connect, make scrapbooks, calendars. Create memories, not piles of plastic.
Posted by dora the explorer on 01/12 at 10:05 PM
We went crazy with gifts in our childrens first two christmas. So much so that we dialed it back. Quality not quantity is our new mantra. Also we didn’t account for all the friends and family presents for our kids.
Posted by Andrei on 05/14 at 07:17 AM
I have three daughters and I have bought them many gifts during the last 15 years. Sometimes I bought them quite expensive dolls or toys and thought that these gifts would make them happy for sure! However, usually it did not work, because children think in a simple way: do they want to play with this toy or not? It doesn’t matter for them is this gift is expensive or not, they feel very good whether you present this gift with love, or just to present something. That’s why I think your daughter will be quite happy with playing with your mother’s toys, which she made for you with love.
Posted by viki on 12/01 at 12:17 AM
A lovely post, and reminder that we need to go simple if we are to get through the upcoming holidays. Looking within helps, keeping out of the frenzy, eliminating the incoming media that seems to target families, all this plus love is the answer.